Scene: A bar set in a town in the West during the cowboy ages. There are many tables with people gambling and drinking ale. QUATTRO is sitting at one of these tables, drinking his beer and eying everyone suspiciously. ENTER ENAS.
ENAS (approaching QUATTRO’S table): Is this seat reserved?
QUATTRO (glaring at Enas): Yes, now scram.
ENAS (looks around): I don’t see anyone else. I’ll just sit here until your friend shows.
QUATTRO: That seat is reserved. For me.
ENAS: What? Because your backside’s too big for one chair?
QUATTRO (angered): Say that again!
ENAS: Why don’t we switch seats so you can give the poor chair a break?
QUATTRO gets up and slams his fist on the table. A hush falls over the bar.
QUATTRO: I challenge you to a duel.
ENAS (shrugs): Then a duel it is.
QUATTRO and ENAS step outside the bar. The scene changes to a deserted dirt road with wooden buildings on either side.
QUATTRO: Ready when you are-
ENAS takes out his gun and shoots QUATTRO in the chest.
QUATTRO (clutching chest): OW! Great son of a- cheater!
ENAS (blows on gun): You stalker, how did you know?
ENAS: You said you were ready.
QUATTRO: Your mom was ready.
ENAS: Jeez, quit stalking me. Die already.
QUATTRO falls to the floor dramatically and dies.
ENTER RANDOM STALKER WOMAN.
STALKER WOMAN (stares at dead QUATTRO): Hah! That’s what you get for stealing my job, wannabe stalker! The true Master Stalker is right here! I will creep through the shadows as silent as death, crawl through the bushes as smoothly as a snake, climb over mountains as nimbly as a frog- frog? Nevermind- all in pursuit of my true love! O Enas, I know your eyes can pierce through me like the very bullets that killed this man, even though you’ve never turned my way. O Enas, the one man I hold dearest in my heart. O Enas, wait for me!
STALKER WOMAN gives QUATTRO a kick to the balls. QUATTRO flinches and clutches balls.
CIVILIAN drags QUATTRO’S body away. Both EXIT.