Dense Circle (Warriors Cats fanfic)

       Goldenpaw kept low the ground, careful to keep her tail still and above the leaves. The trees cast shadows across the undergrowth and in the distance, the horizon was beginning to turn pink

       Goldenpaw crept forward, picking her way over twigs and fallen branches. The smell of mouse filled her nose and made her mouth water, but she forced her hunger down. ThunderClan came first, she could eat later.

        Goldenpaw concentrated on her prey and bunched her muscles together. With a triumphant yowl, she leapt into the air and trapped the mouse between her claws, squeezing the life out of it. She gave it a quick nip of the throat and it lay limp on the ground at her paws.

“Nice one, Goldenpaw!”

         Goldenpaw turned to see her littermate Flashpaw emerging from a bush, dragging a large squirrel. Behind him, their mentors Bloomtail and Rainpelt followed, Bloomtail with a fat shrew dangling from her mouth and Rainpelt carrying a couple of mouse tails.

          Bloomtail set her catch on the ground and purred at her apprentice. “You’ve caught a lot today, Goldenpaw. We haven’t even retrieved the prey you buried earlier yet.”

          “It’s greenleaf!” Goldenpaw replied, though her eyes were shining with pride. “There’s enough prey to last us through leaf-bare.”

          Beside them, Rainpelt squinted through the trees. “The sun’s setting. Let’s head back to camp before a fox digs up your catch.”

          Suddenly, leaves rustled and Goldenpaw spotted the familiar brown shape of the vole darting away.

         Without hesitation, Goldenpaw gave chase. The forest was beginning to darken, but she could still make out the fleeting shape of the vole as it scrambled out of her reach. Goldenpaw wove through trees and jumped over logs, keeping her prey in sight. She was only inches away from it and was about to make the final leap when something barreled into her side.

          Goldenpaw tumbled off her paws and rolled away from her attacker. She scrambled to her feet, teeth bared, claws unsheathed, glaring at the cat who had knocked her over. Goldenpaw was vaguely aware that the vole was gone.

          “What did you do that for! I was about to catch it!” Goldenpaw growled, then suddenly stopped.

           A russet colored tom loomed over her, amber eyes narrowed and blazing like a wildfire. He was tall, with a single black stripe running from his head to tail. Goldenpaw didn’t recognize him, then a familiar stench overwhelmed her nose and her eyes widened in horror.

           “Goldenpaw!” The ginger apprentice turned to see her mentor skidding to a in the Clearing. Rainpelt and Flashpaw scrambled to a halt next to her. “Goldenpaw, what happened? Why are you in ShadowClan territory.”

           Completely focused on catching her prey, Goldenpaw hadn’t realized she’d strayed to far to the edge of ThunderClan territory and crossed the border. The Clearing that belonged to ThunderClan where Bloomtail, Rainpelt, and Flashpaw were standing was just a couple of tail lengths away, but that didn’t change the fact that Goldenpaw had trespassed.

           “Hey, I know you!” Flashpaw suddenly said, his eyes trained on the russet tom. “You’re Blazepaw, right? I saw you at a Gathering once.”

           He’s an apprentice? Goldenpaw cast an astonished glance at the ShadowClan cat. He’s so tall! I thought he was a warrior!

           Blazepaw passed his amber gaze over the ThunderClan cats, then rested his eyes back on Goldenpaw. Goldenpaw flinched, then immediately scolded herself for showing weakness to the enemy. She swallowed, lifted her chin, and stared straight into Blazepaw’s glowing eyes.

“This isn’t the first time ThunderClan has trespassed.”

            Goldenpaw almost jumped at the sound of Blazepaw’s voice. It was smooth and quiet, but echoed through the forest all the same. Goldenpaw gritted her teeth and tried to stop her tail from quivering.

            “And I doubt it will be the last.” Blazepaw sighed, then glanced at the clearing where Bloomtail, Rainpelt, and Flashpaw were anxiously standing. Suddenly, he leaned close to Goldenpaw’s face, his eyes blazing like his name.

            “Go back to where you belong, fox-pelt,” Blazepaw hissed. “Before I make sure you won’t be going back at all.”

Goldenpaw obliged and ran.

Coal Field (previous warriors cats fanfic)

Coal Field (Warriors Cats fanfic)

(I forgot to use the word pursue. Nevermind, I just did.)

Blazepaw let Icedawn take the lead as the two cats padded quietly through the dark pine forest. Above them, slim rays of sunlight filtered through the dense pine needles, casting small circles of light on the smooth floor. Blazepaw picked his way silently through the bed of needles, keeping his head low and his tail high enough that it didn’t disturb the leaves.

He scented Hawkpelt and Antpaw before he and Icedawn stepped into the clearing. Hawkpelt was busy correcting his apprentice’s battle crouch and didn’t notice their entrance.

“Bunch up your hindlegs! Don’t put too much weight in front. You have to be strong! If a ThunderClan warrior came at you like this-”

Hawkpelt suddenly lunged at Antpaw, nearly bowling her over. The little pale gray she-cat yelped in surprise and staggered to regain her balance.

“You call that a battle stance?” Hawkpelt growled. “In a real battle, an enemy warrior would’ve came at you with tooth, claw, and no mercy. Keep this up and you’ll be dead in no time!”

Hawkpelt turned and spotted Icedawn standing awkwardly at the edge of the clearing with Blazepaw sitting next to her, licking his paw absentmindedly.

“Blazepaw!” Blazepaw looked up to see Hawkpelt beckoning him with the tip of his tail.

“Come here! Save me the need to kill my apprentice myself.” At this, Antpaw flinched, a look of utmost fear in her eyes, but Hawkpelt didn’t seem to notice. “Show Antpaw how a proper battle crouch is done.”

Blazepaw didn’t wait for Icedawn to give him permission. She was, after all, just a substitute for Leafburn. He padded towards Antpaw, who shrank away from him. Her bright blue eyes were a mixture of fear and embarrassment and Blazepaw suddenly felt his heartbeat quicken.

Three moons ago, Blazepaw, Antpaw, Twistpaw, and Shadepaw had been made apprentices and were assigned to their mentors. On the first day, he and Antpaw had explored ShadowClan territory together, and Blazepaw had caught a lizard and a frog. During battle training, he’d mastered the battle crouch and could pin down Shadepaw in a matter of seconds. Once, Twistpaw’s mentor Mooneye and Leafburn decided to test their apprentices against each other until one of them surrendered. Blazepaw had given Twistpaw a beating that landed him in the medicine den for three days. Twistpaw never teased him again after that.

Blazepaw gave Antpaw a brief glance before dropping down into the battle crouch. He held his position while Hawkpelt pointed out his posture to Antpaw.

“Now let me see that battle crouch,” the sleek brown tom growled to his apprentice.

This time, Antpaw managed a stable crouch that earned grunts of approval from Hawkpelt.

From the edge of the clearing, Icedawn finally cleared her throat. “Why don’t we hunt for a bit before heading back to camp? Try practicing on a bit of prey.”

Hawkpelt hesitated for a moment, then nodded curtly.

“Fine. Antpaw and I will hunt closer to the lake. You two can head towards the Strip between the two Twoleg Paths if you want.” With that, he and Antpaw slipped into the darkness of the trees.

Icedawn sighed and heaved a tired yawn. “All right then. Let’s go Blazepaw-”

She blinked and looked around but Blazepaw was already gone.

Blast Fly (previous warriors cats fanfic)

 

 

 

Blast Fly (Warriors Cats fanfic)

“It’s only temporary.”

Blazepaw glanced at the white she-cat sitting next to him and flicked his tail warily. In the clearing, the cats of ShadowClan were beginning to slip out of their dens, stretching in the morning sunlight. The dawn patrol had already left and Sunclaw, the ShadowClan deputy, was busy organizing hunting and border patrols. At the foot of his oak tree, Duststar surveyed his Clan through warm, golden eyes.  Blazepaw watched longingly as Hawkpelt led his apprentice Antpaw out the thorn tunnel.

Icedawn, the white she-cat, followed his gaze and sighed. “Leafburn will be fine. Rockwater is the most experienced medicine cat I’ve ever met and your mentor is a strong warrior.”

Blazepaw turned to the crevice between the two rocks that was the medicine den. Only yesterday, he and his mentor had been out on a hunting patrol. Blazepaw had scented a dog while hunting solo, which must have belonged to one of the Twolegs that came to the lake during greenleaf. A few heartbeats later, he’d heard Leafburn’s familiar yowl of distress. Blazepaw had raced as fast as his paws could carry him to his mentor. The rest of the hunting patrol had made it before him and had managed to drive away the dog, but not before it tore an ugly gash along Leafburn’s hindleg.

Now he was being treated by Rockwater in the medicine den and Icedawn would be replacing Leafburn as Blazepaw’s mentor.

When Blazepaw didn’t answer, Icedawn gave him an exasperated groan. “Worrying won’t help. I’m sure Leafburn will want you practicing while he’s being treated. We don’t want to disappoint him now, do we?”

“We?” Blazepaw muttered. Icedawn flicked her ears.

As a kit, Blazepaw had always been apart from the other cats. The other kits teased him about his size and slouching posture and loved to play tricks on him when the queens weren’t looking. Once, Twistkit had told him to go into the forest and stay there until sunhigh. He said that if Blazepaw’s mother Cherryleaf didn’t come looking for him, it meant she didn’t care about him. To Blazepaw’s horror, when he slipped back into the nursery, Cherryleaf was still sharing tongues with Applenose and hadn’t noticed his absence at all.

Blazepaw flicked his russet colored tail again and padded towards the thorn tunnel. “Let’s go.”

Icedawn, too relieved to argue, followed.

Show Not Tell

show-dont-tell

Today’s Tip: Show Not Tell

Details are essential to a good story. It builds the setting, moves the plot forward, and creates tension that makes readers sit at the edge of their seats. If you guys like show and tell, I’m sorry to say that this is show NOT tell.

Who: Showing not Telling

What: details that help move your story along

When: describing something

Where: throughout the novel

Why: to move your story along and make it less dull

How: Avoid simple sentences. “The dog was excited.” Why was it excited? What is its reactions? What are your reactions? Answer these questions and soon enough you’ll have an entire paragraph instead of one sentence. Plus, your paragraph probably seems a lot more enthusiastic and real than the simple sentence. Think of the different details you can add. Sometimes, you might need to break off from describing one thing by describing another. Add a “the wind whistled through the trees” somewhere in there. But be careful not to write too much detail or your reader will start getting bored of all the sentence too.

Activity: Rewrite these “telling” sentences into “showing” paragraphs.

  1. I loved her.
  2. I felt nauseated.
  3. It was painful.
  4. It was dark.
  5. I was scared.
  6. I felt nervous.
  7. My friend was mad.

 

Writing Tips 16

writing-group

Today’s Tip: Groups

If you’re reading this right now, you’re already in one. Some people find this helpful, others prefer independence. However, writing groups can come in handy when you’re writing your story.

Who: Groups

What: group of writers who give each other feedback on their works

When: anytime

Where: wherever you chose to meet

Why: so you can get advice from different readers

How: In simpler terms, all you have to do is get together a group of people who love writing and meet up somewhere. But this can often be tricky. The more people in your group, the harder it is to find the perfect time and place to meet up. However, the smaller your group, the less advice you’ll get from different critiques. Or, you don’t have to meet up at all. With the technology we have now, Google Docs lets you share your story with multiple people and allows you to see the edits they’ve made. You can talk to specific group members in person if you want to, or just chat online. Writing groups are very useful if you want to know what your friends think and what you can improve on. After all, the best writer is still a reader.

Activity: Get together a writing group and write!