I think I try too hard. Last night, I was THIS close to writing a full book. THIS close. Stayed up all night trying to write the PERFECT ending, all the time being like, “NO. This is CRAP. Redo it NOW.”
Rewrote the ending a hundred times, for three hours. Face was BURNING hot and I think I got a fever cuz the rest of me was FREEZING cold. There’s something wrong with me.
After three hours, I ended up staring at the computer screen for half an hour more, thinking, “Is this it?! Did I get it? Did I finally achieve my everlasting DREAM?!”
Then the computer got all sassy and said, “Ah, NO.”
I frickin’ just want to stab a knife in its face and be done with life. In my anger, I deleted everything I wrote, everything that took me months to do, every single word. I trashed it several times. Trash permanently? Why not.
That’s about the end of my writing career. Then my mom came over, put a hand on my head, and sent me straight to bed. It was 2:00 AM anyway. Just one problem.
I was too tired to sleep. Is that normal? When you’re so tired you don’t even have the energy to sleep anymore.
This is all the computer’s fault.